11 Signs You Are a People Pleaser
- You prioritize other people’s needs, emotions and preferences over your own.
- You feel responsible for others’ happiness. If someone you care about is upset, you may feel that it is your fault and/or your responsibility to remedy it for them.
- You struggle in asking for things or help from others. This is despite giving your all to others and then finding yourself without support when you really needs it.
- You avoid expressing how you feel. You likely believe your emotions are a burden and too heavy for others. You have a sense of wanting to protect others from your emotions.
- You tend to appease, placate or ‘fawn’. You agree to things you do not want to avoid conflict with others.
- You feel alone. This really is felt when you are struggling and no one seems to want to show up the way you have for them.
- You struggle in identifying what you feel, like and want. You have been so focused on others you may notice that you have actually lost track of YOU in your own life.
- You feel anxious or depressed/low mood and often cannot identify the reason why.
- You ‘should’ yourself a lot. You experience a lot of shame and guilt and pressure yourself to do things you do not want to in order to avoid upsetting others.
- You worry what others think of you–often more concerned about this than what you want or need in the moment.
- You see self-care as ‘selfish’.
People Pleasing and Shame are opposite sides of the same coin. A sense of disappointing others is a huge motivator for those who people please and results in a deep sense of shame, fear and even rejection. This is a very ingrained pattern of relating that leads to people pleasers feeling anxious and/or depressed much of the time. Many who people please often feel lonely and hopeless. Though it may feel impossible or hopeless at times, there is hope for change and it leads to a dramatic improvement in the overall quality of a person’s life.
If you believe yourself to be a People Pleaser and are wanting more information or supports, please click the link below.